Gay is not what we are, Gay is not who we are, Being Gay is just one simple part of us.: Whats going on with the gay relationship?

Welcome

Greetings Everyone!!!
I am starting this blog as a place for Gay men and women to come and read information about a variety of topics and issues. If you would like to be a guest author on my blog, please email me at CarlDinsmore@yahoo.com and tell me why you would like to post something on my blog. This is also a way for people in Cincinnati to get linked to social organizations that maybe they did not know existed. I will work hard on placing all sorts of information on the site, regarding Books, Medical updates, Causes that I deelpy care about, Gay vacation destinations, Gay Sports, and much, much more. Its also just a venue for you to share comments on postings, or share with me a cause or topic I could add to my site.
Last year was a very tough year for me, as I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a form of depression mainly diagnosed in women, but more and more men are being diagnosed with this illness. So, look for information regarding borderline on the blog. Finally having a diagnosis regarding my depression was life saving. Coming through that crisis is what gave me the idea to create this blog.
But my number one goal for this site is the fact that it is time for unity in the gay community. Its time to STOP tearing each other down, but rather to build each other up. We are not all alike. We are different and these differences are what makes our world such a wonderful place to live. Please enjoy the site, and lets unite to make our world the best place it can be.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Whats going on with the gay relationship?

I am writing this entry because I am just curious as to why the gay relationship, for the most part, just does not seem to stand the test of time. I recently had a friend break up with his boyfriend after 2 years and he was and still is hurting quit a bit. Another friend of mine dated the same guy a few years ago, and he was dumped by the same guy. Whats going on??

Both guys were blindsided and were not expecting this to be the end of their relationship. I personally think in this situation the person who keeps ending the relationships just does hot have a clue what they want. He was not willing to work on either relationship as far as trying to work through the problems, even if these problems existed, and thus he let the relationships die.

Can gay men commit and be happy? Are there men out there who just need to be with someone for security and are able to hide their true emotions regarding this relationship? Are there allot of users out there? Users meaning getting in a relationship solely for the purpose of what they can get out of that person? I would really hate to think that this could be the case, but I think those sorts of people exist in the straight and gay community.

It is almost funny to watch how relationships work in the gay community. I know many attractive, grounded, good career type, great personality types that are single and unable to find the one. I also know guys who are total train wrecks who have to beat the men off with a stick. It is almost as if the more drama you have in your life the more men you attract. Can you not keep your train on the tracks and still find a good guy to date? Or must you totally derail your train to draw some interest?

Personally I think as gay men and women, we so want to be loved and feel secure and loved that some rush into relationships purely out of the fear of being alone. I admit one of my greatest fears is to get old (ok, I am old, I just turned 44 on July 9th.) and to never experience what true love is like.

I simply want the gay community to slow down. Date, and really get to know each other. This is something we can learn from the straight community. Building solid, strong relationships can only be wonderful for the gay community.

Have a great day everyone....
Carl