Yes, another poem....sigh.......

Seeking Affirmation




Why is it we seek out affirmation from others on various issues?
Or, do most, in true definition of the meaning, simply not or don’t care?
For those who reckon and reason the later are simply liars, I do believe.
Confirmation of task can simply give one the confidence to continue.

In a perfect world we should be able to make self declaration and trust self.
It is difficult to have the faith in ones self that allows doubtless thoughts.
To dream about total confidence in ones own abilities in all they attempt.
One should be able to wander through life, head held high and no hesitation.

Some, adrift in their own insecurities, will attempt to pull you into their abyss.
You begin to struggle with letting them drown or reaching in and pulling them free.
If you let them drown you would be giving power to the words of those watching.
Those standing in observation with no confidence in them let alone an assist.

It all equates to being strong enough in you to only need yourself for validation.
But, we still, ask our peers what they think and how they feel on a constant basis.
Is it so bad to give any amount of support to someone, anyone, friend or stranger.
Silence speaks volumes and allows the brain to come up with a variety of opinions.

In time you will be strong and steadfast in your belief that what you care about matters.
There will be no need to search and seek out the opinions that give you validation.
Validation will come from that one and only source that matters and that is your heart.
Trust yourself, love what you love, like what you like, but care about everyone.

Lyrics to Josh Grobin's You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

You know, sometimes I think we like a song so much for various reasons, but I still think that most of us do not listen to the power in the words. The meaning can be different for everyone, but they are still full of power. Don't Give Up by Josh Grobin is another one of those songs for me. This song is in my playlist 1 which is on my blog here...take a lister, but for now here are the lyrics.

You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

Why I attempted sucide, again, last year.

Last year, on May 27Th, I set you to attempt suicide for the very last time. I had finally hit rock bottom and this was to be the end. I took 200+ percocets and over 90zanax. I have no memory of anything that happened that night after the first hand full of pills. Obviously I was not successful, but I was in the hospital from the end of May 2007 until December 2006.
Reasons for people attempting suicide are so varied. It sounds strange, but some are good reasons and some are not good reasons and those are more of a reaction, knee jerk type thing other than an actual means to a long, suffering end. I no longer think suicide is the right thing to do EVER, however, I get angry when I hear people say people who kill themselves or attempt to kill themselves are simply being selfish. Who is being more selfish, the person who wants someone to stay around just so they won't hurt for awhile and miss them, while they continue to be miserable, OR the person who needs the end to some severe pain?
When I was planning and thinking about my suicide I did not hide it from my friends at all. I told them I was thinking about it and planning it so if there was anything they wanted to ask me or something they needed to know, they needed to ask me then. I did not want any friends to have thoughts where they wish they would have asked me something or said something to me. This of course made many of my friends very uneasy and uncomfortable. I was totally sitting on the rock bottom of misery. My closest friends knew that I was fighting depression. Only my best friend would talk to me about it, but with everyone else it was always the elephant in the room. This is where we have to change as a society. We can not continue to not want to talk to someone about a hard, difficult issue. I think my so openly talking about it with my friends I was really reaching out, but all I managed to do was make them feel totally uncomfortable and it would not be talked about. I didn't do my best either. TALK TO SOMEONE!!! Someone professional. There are resources out there for all types of depression and mental illness period. Someone will listen and get you the help you need.
Medications are important in treating depression, so do not be afraid that you will have to take a pill or pills each and everyday. Not succeeding was great for me because it forced me into an environment where I was around therapy on a daily basis. One one one therapy, group therapy, etc. I mentioned on an early post that I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, so it was finally awesome to have a name with my depression. Learning about my depression made so many things from my past make sense. Ways I acted, reactions I had to situations, etc.
If you are ever thinking about suicide, remember you are not alone. First of all, DO NOT ATTEMPT! I came as close as you can come. Keep reaching out till someone will listen. That is the hard part but step outside of your circle of friends, as that can make it easier. Talking to a stranger can be so much easier than talking to a friend. Every city has a suicide hot line, or simply walk into your local emergency room and tell them you are wanting to hurt yourself by committing suicide.

Take it from someone who has been there, MANY TIMES, FIGHT, do not give in.

New Poem..........

Fighting Ones Self In Exploration…




I simply need to break free. Free from all that I am.
Spread my wings and catch the swiftest breeze.
Holding tightly and watching time go by in an instant.
Changes were occurring in me as if I was about to split in two.

It is exhausting to constantly submerge yourself in prayer for change.
To become someone better, lovable, respected and simply complete.
I have no memories of anything but total contempt for my life and myself.
Countless hours spent planning the perfect time to end my own breath.

Those days are non existent now; I am determined to fight my way through.
Deep, inner feelings to my core are varied and at times hard to wage against.
Depression and thoughts of thinking you are inadequate whisper inward.
One day I hope to look into a mirror and not be repulsed by what is staring back.

Love from an outside source will never be true if I can not feel it for myself.
Why is it hard for so many to love them? Are they flawed or just misconceived?
Can someone teach you to love yourself? Or would the love of another set you free?
The word love itself we hear everyday of our lives. Does it mean less now than it should?

I will continue on this journey that I set out on every single day of the rest of my life.
Perhaps if I do find true love I will know it immediately because it will be totally new.
New in the sense that I have never sensed, experienced or felt anything like it at all.
As I walk I look into peoples eyes, because I do believe they are the window to the soul.

Latest Poem.....

Sunny Day in the Park…..



The sun had control of the sky today.
I was able to lose myself in the deepest blue.
Sitting in a park alone on a sun drenched blanket.
My mind going anywhere and everywhere in journey.

Snapped into reality at the speed of loneliness.
To be blessed with this day but unable to share its beauty.
A day like this is what love must equate with in nature.
Bright, warm, and enveloping is the day, is a lovers arms.

The smells attack the senses, causing the brain to sigh.
Life is all about this day it’s just missing a hand to hold.
Without notice I sit stroking the empty space on the blanket.
A soul to love, shoulders to hug and lips to kiss is missing here.

Silence floods the space where conversation should exist.
Sadness enters here too simply because of the desire to share.
A butterfly in erratic flight flutters by and makes me smile.
As I smile, I bow my head and sigh. A smile from what could be.

Silent prayer begins to ramble throughout my conscious mind.
Thankful for the day in praise but asking for a mate to share with.
A single tear with dual meaning makes its way down my check.
Happy to be in the day, the moment but longing on the lack of love.

Perhaps one day I will be able to wrap my arms around myself in love.
Then, and only then will someone else be able to really see me for me.
At that time, with the walls coming down, maybe a love will break through.
On my blanket, sun on my face, I embrace myself and allow love for me, from me.

LOGO Online lists the 50 Greatest Gay Films of All Time!!!

Click on the title of post to be taken to LOGO Online and check out if you agree with their list of the 50 Greatest Gay Films of all time. Sort of odd I stumbled across this list as I sit here watching Priscella Queen of The Desert on LOGO.

Enjoy!

New Poem....

Trying to Belong…



Living in a dual society is shaking me down deep to my roots.
At my age you think I would be over this or know to accept it.
Being gay is already its own means and power of division.
Happening to be overweight, over forty and average looking is another.

One society shuns me because I prefer the same sex as myself as my love.
The society that should welcome me with open arms labels me in other ways.
Life is this way is exhausting because I am constantly not good enough for either.
Labels are lying everywhere, just waiting to be picked up and placed on your person.

Society forces us to romanticize, dream and have constant feelings of emptiness.
True? Maybe we do this to ourselves because we are so unhappy with who we are.
The beginnings of not loving yourself had to come from a source outside of self.
As the years fly by at an incredible pace some begin to check list their misery.

To think that you might possibly live your entire life void of love is fear defined.
Sadness in your heart and soul eventually leaves and grief moves into the space.
After so long you become bitter, bitter that you can not have what others have.
It is a simple question. Why do some find heart filling love and others simply zero?

Nobody should ever have to feel as if they are less of a human as anyone else.
One should not have to place themselves in a labeled group or crowd to belong.
We are simply people sharing a place to exist, why can we not care for the other?
Vast amounts of media do cause personal insecurities to fester and ache like an infection.

Emptiness, be socially ignored and loneliness are causes of shortened lives.
Gay teens are killing themselves in record numbers because there are no resources.
How sad is that? How can anyone not find fault with the hate that breeds in our world?
It is time to love and love hard. Its time to fight hate and to fight hate hard at all times.

Time to feature a new famous gay artist...

George Platt Lynes (1907-1955)
Biography
As a successful American fashion and portrait photographer, Lynes, his greatest work is in homoerotic dance images and male nudes. He was born in Orange, New Jersey in 1907.He had his first solo exhibition at the Leggett Gallery in 1932, followed by a two-man exhibition at Julien Levy with the well-known photographer Walker Evans. By 1933, Lynes was a central figure in the New York photography world. He quickly became known for his highly stylized images characterized by expressionistic lighting, surrealistic props, and suggestive settings. Because of censorship during the Second World War, Lynes he restricted the circulation of his work to friends and admirers. By 1945 his success, and interest, in portrait and fashion work began to fade--along with his relationship with Westcott and Wheeler. Lynes moved to Los Angeles in 1946 to head Vogue's Hollywood office, but by 1948 financial pressure forced him to return to New York. Unfortunately, his earlier success was difficult to reclaim, and by late 1951 his failure to pay taxes led the government to close his studio and auction off his cameras. Lynes' later photographs, particularly his nudes, are marked by a significant change of style. He abandoned the highly staged tableaux of his earlier nudes in favor of a straightforward, even minimalist, aesthetic. Featuring few if any props, these later images are simple and honest portraits of naked men. In 1949, Lynes began a personal and professional friendship with Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey, who, having published his controversial book Sexual Behavior in the Human Male the previous year, was beginning his research on homosexuality and gay male erotica. Although buying and selling nude male photographs was illegal at the time, Kinsey eventually managed to purchase over six hundred of Lynes' prints along with several hundred negatives for his new archive. After being diagnosed with lung cancer in 1954, Lynes destroyed many of his negatives and prints, including his fashion photography, as well as his nudes. Although Lynes seemed to fear how his images might be received, surely he would be pleased to know that many of his works have not only survived, but continue to find new audience.

New Poem.....

Natures Prayer


Sitting on the fence watching the heat radiate off the hay fields.
My thoughts as distorted as the evaporating moisture of that July day.
Clouds caused dark images to float across the land like a kaleidoscope
All of this sensory stimulation is making it so easy to lose myself in daydreams.

A mosquito bite snapped me out of midday slumber. I looked at the spot it left.
Something so small, with such an impact, much like us in the universe.
Do we really realize how significant we are on our little planet?
The things we do, the reactions they bring, how unappreciative it appears.

We need to reverse our actions or find ourselves with a bitter mother nature.
Looking out over the fields I search my memories of childhood and remember.
When did we lose ourselves inwardly and become absorbed in ourselves?
Selfish we became many of us, while others were shouting from their souls.

Is it too late for us to heed the call and begin to preserve our surroundings?
A constant reminder this should be on how really frail so many things are.
Appreciation is a word that seems to have floated off into dead space.
This space is one we will have to inhabit if we do not learn to be thankful.

The Divine Miss M opens in Vegas!!!

An Advocate.com exclusive posted March 11, 2008

According to Oprah Winfrey, my best friend, Luzanne, is Bette Midler’s biggest admirer. The Divine Miss M was on the January 28 episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show promoting her upcoming spectacle, "The Showgirl Must Go On," at the Caesars Palace Colosseum in Las Vegas when, midway through the interview, Oprah asked Luzanne to stand up in the audience and explain why she loves Bette. Luzanne, who is 27 and in law school, explained that in addition to adoring Bette's music, she had been so inspired by Bette's environmental activism that she made environmental law a focus of her studies. Bette looked pleased by Luzanne’s adulation and announced that she wanted to fly her and a friend to Las Vegas, put them up at Caesars, and give them front-row tickets to her opening night. Luzanne screamed and clasped her hands over her face as if she had just been crowned Miss America.
After the Oprah taping, Luzanne asked if I’d be her guest since I was the one who sent her the “Are You Bette’s Biggest Fan” link from Oprah’s website. My boyfriend is obsessed with the Big O, and I’ve spent countless hours perusing her website trying to figure out a way for them to meet. Although I still haven’t fulfilled my boyfriend’s dreams, I was thrilled about the opportunity to see the Divine Miss M up close and personal.
My connection with Bette goes back to fifth grade, when our country was engaged in Desert Storm and Bette’s "From a Distance" was the unofficial anthem for supporting the troops. Every Friday night during the war, when other Jewish families were lighting Shabbat candles, I made my parents stand in our darkened living room holding memorial candles while I sang an a cappella version of "From a Distance." I asserted to my uninterested family that patriotism was important, but the truth was that I just wanted an audience for the cabaret show I had been rehearsing in my bedroom. Eventually I got carried away, and when I tried to include a rendition of Bette’s "Chapel of Love," my parents refused to participate in any more of my sham memorial services.
Three weeks after the Oprah taping, Luzanne and I arrived in Vegas on the day of Bette’s opening show. While Luzanne spent the afternoon at the salon getting her hair and makeup done, I downed Red Bulls and ordered up a bottle of Dom Perignon for our pre-concert toast of gratitude to Ms. Winfrey.
When we arrived at the Colosseum an usher greeted us with a gift bag of Bette memorabilia and escorted us to our seats. As we walked toward the stage and I looked around the massive arena, I feared that our plane to Vegas had crashed and that I was in fact dead. While I’m no theologian, it seemed to me that when gay Jews die we surely will march through bronzed gates and be greeted by Bette Midler. After I made Luzanne pinch me, I decided I wasn’t dead; I was incredibly lucky. Our seats were so remarkable that I if I stretched out my legs, the tips of my toes touched the stage. Additionally, seated a few rows behind us were Joey Fatone, Jennifer Coolidge, Christine Ebersole, Alan Thicke, Taye Diggs, and Idina Menzel. The celebrities actually had to look over our heads to see Bette.
The concert opened with "The Showgirl Must Go On" and featured rows of backup dancers and Bette is a shimmering suit that showcased her slim 62-year-old figure. From the opening note her voice wasn’t just commanding; it was flawless. The crowd went wild, and I screamed and sang along as loud as anyone. In between songs she did some Borsht Belt–style comedy and quipped such memorable lines as “Thirty years ago my audiences were on drugs. Now they’re on medication.” She performed most of her classics, including "The Rose," "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," and my favorite, "Hello in There." She sang "When a Man Loves a Woman" with such impressive gusto that the crowd’s standing ovation began before the song ended.
About an hour into the show, when Bette was dressed as Delores DeLago, her mermaid alter ego who zips around stage in an electric wheelchair, the champagne and Red Bulls hit my bladder. Although I didn’t want to miss a moment of the performance, I was in such excruciating pain that I decided I had to run to the bathroom. During Bette’s costume change I jumped out of my seat, and as I made my way to the aisle noticed that Taye Diggs was also heading to the restroom. Taye entered the men’s room and went to the urinal closest to the door. The one next to him was unoccupied, and to my amusement, at the third urinal was Robin Leach from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. Although there was a row of empty stalls behind me, I decided I had to pee in between Taye Diggs and Robin Leach. A better man in this situation would have fixed his eyes on the wall in front of him, but I am not that noble. Let me just say, Mazel tov, Idina Menzel. Your husband isn’t just a pretty face!
When I returned to my seat, Bette was preparing for her final number. She ended the spectacular 90-minute show with "Wind Beneath My Wings," which not only brought the audience to its feet, it brought tears to the man seated next to me who had traveled by himself from Little Rock, Ark., to see Miss M on opening night. After the show ended a few of Bette’s die-hard fans recognized Luzanne from Oprah and approached her for photographs. Luzanne and I, though, didn’t want to get up from our seats; we weren’t ready to accept that the magical experience was ending.
I’ve lived in Manhattan for the past five years and have seen countless impressive Broadway shows and concerts. Nothing I’ve experienced to date has been as extraordinary as Bette’s Vegas performance. At 62 she can sing and dance live better than the pop stars I’ve seen 40 years her junior. Her show was powerful because it was evident that she was doing what she was born to do. Bette Midler is on this planet to sing, dance, and do some schmaltzy comedy, and that is what makes her utterly Divine.

Newest Poem, Trying to finish my manuscript

God’s Color Pallet of Life…


Lost in exhaustion trying to find myself, somewhere.
Years of wandering, longing, and making countless mistakes.
Do we enter into this world the way that we are then, forever?
Or is it a timeless trip, looking for pieces of you?

I believe that we are not a complete work at anytime.
More, however, a mosaic made up of pieces of karma.
Some get wonderful, bright, colorful pieces in their life frame.
Others crawl through life finding only black, white and grey.

To have a life as if it was painted by numbers, almost perfect,
Very little color finds its way outside of the lines, others more abstract.
Can one find justice in asking how God comes to his decisions of canvas?
If God is our life’s artist, why are some murals for a museum? Others dusty in an attic.

With more thought I think I would rather to be black, white or grey. Neutral to all.
Seeing things for what they are, inside and out. Color is pretty, but it can mask flaws.
Maybe God isn’t saying at all that the ones with a canvas full of color are beautiful.
Instead, he may be saying that less color allows perception to come deep from the soul.

Outside of the dark, deep, red blood that flows through our body, we are a simple grey.
With all that theory said, I still wander through this life hoping to find myself.
Or the parts of myself I am yet to discover that could somehow fill in some holes.
I simply want; I need to know that I have a purpose in this world for someone.

There is no gift greater to the human soul than to be the reason someone smiles.
There is no worse pain in life than to know you disappointed someone, letting them down.
Someone who thought they saw more in you than black, white or grays, but colors.
Life is too short to not love each other, all of each other, the good and the bad.

Letting someone know that you forgive them could set them free to do great things.
Holding onto hate or distrust is bad for both souls. Hurt can become hate quickly.
As hard as it is, we have to work to bring the color out of everyone, and we must forgive.
They are not the prettiest, brightest or most popular, but white, black and grey are colors.

Feelings as of late....

Greetings everyone....

I have not posted in a few days. Things have been a bit odd, as far as how I have felt goes. I have not been sad really and have actually felt happy for several days. The best way I can describe how I have been feeling is lost.
Lost in the sense that I do not know what it is I should be doing. You hear all the time about people finding themselves and all that other Oprah type stuff, and I am just feeling displaced.
Don't get me wrong, I love me so Oprah, but with all this feeling type stuff she is been talking about this season. Now its the book A New Earth, I think that is the title and self discovery I can not help but think about it.
Is life really this complicated? Or do we make it much harder than it is really meant to be? So, with that said, I have just been feeling at odds with myself. Have not been able to write the past week or so because I have writers block. Oh well, just thought I would share......have a great day and rest of the weekend.

Song I recently wrote...

As Long AS you mean this....



Bout' a year ago I moved myself away from things,
up on a hill where I can think, daydream and meditate.
Spring brings leaves, flowers and butterflies.
Being alone I rationalize, but truth be known I am terrified.
Do I dare let anyone get close again? Even just as friends.
That's always my thoughts while on the porch,
hanging clothes, cleaning house or a walk alone.
The day we met was a shock, scary too and not so real....

(CHORUS)


My heart and soul can't be hurt again,
so I am telling you as this begins,
I need to believe in you, I need to believe in this.
You can take me in yours arms tonight,
Please don't let go, and hold me tight.
I could stay here forever, lost in your love.
One condition will allow myself to give into this.
Down in the depths of you, you have to mean this.


I fight myself everyday, I build the walls and walk away.
You seem so kind and genuine. Do I open my heart,
or let me soul stay blind? Your love must be strong.
Strong enough to pull me free. Free from all my misery.
Hurt by others an myself. Placed my love deep, back on a shelf.
It feels so right, but who can be sure?
Are you my one? The only one I will ever need?
Fear tells me to hide away. My soul says it is OK,
go ahead, give your love away.

(CHORUS)


Life is so amazing right now.
Up on this hill where I hid away.
Somehow your love found me here.
I hid at first, you brought be out.
Held my hand, held my heart,
Pieces of me fear this will end,
and we will slowly drift apart.
I have to allow myself to feel your love....


(CHORUS)

Latest Poem...

The Human Need....


The emptiness in my heart rings loud in echoes.
Silence has occupied every single crevice for years.
Timeless desire to fill the emptiness broadens the gaps.
If not for observing it, I would believe love to be a myth.

Just to have someone occupy my heart would be bliss.
I want to lie side by side on a blanket under a star filled sky.
To know it means something without being told in words.
Reaching over, you take my hand, and my soul begins to warm.

The frost that survived their for years begins to melt away.
Slowly, you turn your head and look deep into my eyes,
and without being told, or hearing a word, I know it means something.
The kindness, warmth and love that is exchanged is electric.

A small squeeze from your hand lets me know love has found me.
My heart begins to feel things it has never known even existed.
No words are spoken and they are not needed, it is just understood.
I never want this to moment to end. If only time could briefly stand still.

I roll over on my side in the attempt to get even closer, and then it happens.
My eyes open, and I come out of what seems like a very dense fog.
Yes, I am on a blanket under a star filled sky, but alone on this blanket am I.
I feel a single tear roll down my cheek. I pull the blanket over me, just me, and cry.

Gay Short Stories

Those you visit my blog know I like to point people in the direction of different and interesting things. I know you are all sick of my poetry, so I am introducing you to some gay short stories.

More than a hundred and thirty short stories, most with a gay theme, set in historical, modern, future times. Also fantasy and humour. Gay detective stories and longer works. Young adult adventure stories.

Click on the post title and go take a look, read a little, and have some fun.

I am writing alot these days...

Building a Journey


Is our time on earth a journey or simply an existence?
It seems as if some work hard, so very, very hard,
to launch a journey, but end up only with an existence.
These are the people you see sitting on front porches.
Imprisoned in the projects praying for something better.

The woman so full of fight and determination to provide for them.
To provide the things for her family that were her youthful dreams.
Short of selling her soul, she would do anything to give a journey.
Embark her children with pride, self assurance and determination.
Letting then escape the walls and set out to become her hero's.

She rules with a strong hand, but hides her heavy heart.
At night when sleeps comes she is giving her children wings.
The wings of angles, the wings of strength, the wings of deliverance.
The freedom to begin their peronsal journey for fulfillment.
Fulfillment does not always mean success, it means happiness.

One of life's tough lessons is that success doesn not equal happiness.
The best part of the journey is when you finally find that place,
the place where no matter what is is your are doing, you grin ear to ear.
Your heart is filled to capacity with pure joy. The journey your mama started.
She had the insight and strength to life you up, and now you must thank her.


Thank her in a way that can still set her on her journey. She still thinks of it.
She did not lose her dreams of journeys and adventures giving life to yours.
If anything they become stronger, clearer and more of a part of her she must do.
There is no look upon a persons face that is better than a face full of undiluted joy.
If you can ever be the reason for placing that smile on a face, then you started a journey.

World Food Program

After watching Drew Barrymore on the Oprah show on Monday, I knew I wanted to learn more about the World Food Program. It is amazing in a world today where so many have so much, that so many children go hungry day after day after day. I personally believe it is the adage, out of site out of mind. Here is more information and I will add a permanent link on the side bar elements.




Introduction

FREEING THE WORLD OF HUNGERAmong the Millennium Development Goals which the United Nations has set for the 21st century, halving the proportion of hungry people in the world is top of the list. Click through this section to learn more about hunger and how WFP food aid, which reached 87.8 million people in 78 countries in 2006, is leading the fight against the number one risk to global health.For a quick overview of WFP's mission, watch our corporate video



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What is Hunger: more than an empty stomach for 800 million people

What causes Hunger: with food in abundance, why does hunger exist

Who are the Hungry: mapping the geography and profile of hunger

How WFP fights Hunger: getting food fast to hunger hotspots

How WFP works to stop Hunger: food aid breaks the poverty cycle

Change of Domain Name

I decided to change my domain name from gaysiwithopinions@blogspot.com because I do not think I was really ever talking about opinions, but rather I was talking more about the many sides there are to gay people. There are the artists, singers, actors, athletes, politicians, outspoken, closeted, out and many more.
I have enjoyed bringing out a wide variety of things on my blog. I enjoy learning about a new artist every week and showing some of their work. I have fun researching famous gay quotes and showing them on my side. I myself am a HUGE sports freak so I will look more into placing as much information as I can on gay athletics. I also want to make people laugh when I can. All of these things add up to my blog domain change.

Thanks
Carl

Newest Poem

Time for Love

Ambiguous words that try to define us.
Why must we be so precise in who we are?
We are not objects, isolated in a singular being.
Diverse and ever changing are many mortals.


However, be not confused when meeting a rooted individual.
They exist and are so steadfast in ways and beliefs.
Some are just creatures of routine and habit.
Others are firmly, deeply anchored in hate.

I doubt there is credence in anyone always being happy.
Believe for sure that there are those who try with compassion.
Try to live abounding with joy regardless of any situation.
If a life occurrence painful in nature comes, they do not budge.


I often question why God would create souls so unalike?
With what purpose was this hard felt contempt created by he?
Still today it infects societies worldwide, and with what pretense?
I can not believe religion that answers, it is man who breeds hate.

People in places who from birth have only known war.
Differences hasten choices to rid those unlike themselves.
Religion, color, land, politics, power, they all breed hate.
From that hate rises the desire to rid our world of the different.


Does not all that is written say that God is all powerful?
Omnipotent, supreme, mighty, divine are these not all he?
What reason could he have? Is God above reasoning?
With the wave of a hand all eyes and souls could be free.

Free of hate and full of the welcoming of diversity and love.
To have their hearts overflow and feel regret for what transpired.
All the years of hate, racism, prejudice, war, all eradicated forever.
What purpose would God have for keeping love hidden away?


Some say this is where faith has its purpose in the world.
Faith in what? That one day, after years of turmoil, love will abound?
Shame on God. Shame on God for not letting the world know it now.
In Gods name, please tell me what purpose we gain in waiting?

New Showcased Artist, the famous Robert Mapplethorp

Robert Mapplethorpe (1946- 1989)


Born November 4, 1946, in Floral Park, New York. He left home in 1962 and enrolled at the Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, in 1963, where he studied painting and sculpture and received his B.F.A.Mapplethorpe had his first substantial shows in 1977, both in New York: an exhibition of photographs of flowers at the Holly Solomon Gallery and one of male nudes and sadomasochistic imagery at the Kitchen. Mapplethorpe’s diverse work—homoerotic images, floral still lifes, pictures of children, commissioned portraits, mixed-media sculpture—is united by the constancy of his approach and technique. The surfaces of his prints offer a seemingly endless gradation of blacks and whites, shadow and light, and regardless of subject, his images are both elegant and provocative. In the mid-to-late 1980s, returning to the sculptural use of photography seen in his early assemblages, Mapplethorpe created sensual diptychs and triptychs of photographs printed on fabric and luxurious cloth panels. In 1988, four major exhibitions of his work were organized: by the Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam; the Whitney Museum of American Art, New York; the Institute of Contemporary Art, University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia; and the National Portrait Gallery, London. Mapplethorpe died due to complications from AIDS on March 9, 1989, in Boston.

Sick of my poetry yet??

Weights of Doubt


I've gotten to a place in my life,
where I walk with my head hanging down.
I'd rather count the cracks in the sidewalk,
As to watch love keep passing me by.

A lifetime of faces have passed me.
Along with an eternity of me asking why?
Why couldn't just one person see me?
See deep inside me. See the love in me.

I just want someone to see me.
Really, really see me. All of me.
But I doubt it will ever happen,
because fear keeps my eyes looking down.

How will I ever break free?
Free of the fear, I myself created.
Fear growing from a poor self image.
Countless thoughts of not being good enough.

Too old, too fat, too ugly.
Years of hiding behind all the too's.
Do they exist or are they self imposed?
I raise my head, only to see myself looking back.

When your soul is so heavy with doubt,
How does on begin to feel inner strength?
Insecurities being my life long friend.
Wanting to turn myself inside out.

Maybe one day while walking down the street,
I will bump into another lost soul, head down.
Our heads will raise, and we will see ourselves in the other.
We both smile, souls happy, together we walk on.