Gay is not what we are, Gay is not who we are, Being Gay is just one simple part of us.: Fighting Depression is a daily BATTLE!!!

Welcome

Greetings Everyone!!!
I am starting this blog as a place for Gay men and women to come and read information about a variety of topics and issues. If you would like to be a guest author on my blog, please email me at CarlDinsmore@yahoo.com and tell me why you would like to post something on my blog. This is also a way for people in Cincinnati to get linked to social organizations that maybe they did not know existed. I will work hard on placing all sorts of information on the site, regarding Books, Medical updates, Causes that I deelpy care about, Gay vacation destinations, Gay Sports, and much, much more. Its also just a venue for you to share comments on postings, or share with me a cause or topic I could add to my site.
Last year was a very tough year for me, as I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which is a form of depression mainly diagnosed in women, but more and more men are being diagnosed with this illness. So, look for information regarding borderline on the blog. Finally having a diagnosis regarding my depression was life saving. Coming through that crisis is what gave me the idea to create this blog.
But my number one goal for this site is the fact that it is time for unity in the gay community. Its time to STOP tearing each other down, but rather to build each other up. We are not all alike. We are different and these differences are what makes our world such a wonderful place to live. Please enjoy the site, and lets unite to make our world the best place it can be.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Fighting Depression is a daily BATTLE!!!

Happy Sunday everyone.
I know I have posted a few posts regarding either depression or mental illness. I have really been fighting my depression the last few days. I hope people do not think just because you may be on medication, that all the world is a happy place and your depression is cured. Sadly, it does not work that way. I wish with all my heart that it did work that way.
Unless you have felt depression, it is sort of hard to put it into words that can even cause people to understand a little bit. You have good days and bad days. Days when you are constantly asking yourself why. Why you continue to battle, and why you just do not give up. Things people say can weight heavy upon your being. While you should not take most things personal, you find yourself looking deep into anything that is said to you. Why are people so critical? This is very prevelant in the gay community. We, as a whole, are far more critical and ready to judge than anyone else. I really believe this. I have seen it countless times. It is said that people who are alwasy preying on the insecurities of others, are just trying to hide their own insecurities. They have a false sense of strength by finding and exposing the flaws of others.
It scares me when my pangs of depression become more than just a passing thought. When I spend time on a thought, or my depression brings me down, I begin to feel fear in some ways. Fear that I will never be free of this depression. Fear that I can never have the confidence and know how to live a normal life. I just simply want to be free of the negative that comes with depression. Being gay sure does not help. Gay life is always filled with doubts and fears. Am I getting too old to find love? Am I too fat for people to like? Whats the matter with me? There are countless thoughts that can control your mind and your spirit.
I will continue to fight. If I ever get to that dark place again, all I can do is hope and pray that I have the strength to search someone out who cares and will listen.