New Poem..........

Fighting Ones Self In Exploration…




I simply need to break free. Free from all that I am.
Spread my wings and catch the swiftest breeze.
Holding tightly and watching time go by in an instant.
Changes were occurring in me as if I was about to split in two.

It is exhausting to constantly submerge yourself in prayer for change.
To become someone better, lovable, respected and simply complete.
I have no memories of anything but total contempt for my life and myself.
Countless hours spent planning the perfect time to end my own breath.

Those days are non existent now; I am determined to fight my way through.
Deep, inner feelings to my core are varied and at times hard to wage against.
Depression and thoughts of thinking you are inadequate whisper inward.
One day I hope to look into a mirror and not be repulsed by what is staring back.

Love from an outside source will never be true if I can not feel it for myself.
Why is it hard for so many to love them? Are they flawed or just misconceived?
Can someone teach you to love yourself? Or would the love of another set you free?
The word love itself we hear everyday of our lives. Does it mean less now than it should?

I will continue on this journey that I set out on every single day of the rest of my life.
Perhaps if I do find true love I will know it immediately because it will be totally new.
New in the sense that I have never sensed, experienced or felt anything like it at all.
As I walk I look into peoples eyes, because I do believe they are the window to the soul.