We have created our own mess...

The United States should be ashamed of itself. What we want and what we need has really gotten misplaced over the years. I am only 44 years old, and I have seen this all my life and really can see the positioon it has placed us as a nation now. We want good jobs, that pay really well, yet we want reall quality goods to purchase with the money from those jobs and at a very cheap price. That is a reality that does not exist. Why do cars cost so much? It is everyone in the automobile industry food chain that is to blame for this. The high up executive made the high salary with the very high incentive program. The assembly line worker who made an outrageous wage for the very simple work they did were protected by the, in my opinion, worse union ever formed, the United Auto Workers Union. Why are jobs leaving the US and going over seas? Because people in other countries do not have to have the big expensive things we want as americans. They are very content to live meger, simple but happy lives. Not an American. We want the big house, the big car, the big family, the big credit cards, the big vacations, and the big wage to have all of those things. However, what we also want is to be able to have those things we so desperatley want and need to be at the cheapest price possible.
People are becoming outraged over what we are now learning has been going on in our financial world. Big salaries, big bonuses, big egoes and all that at a very high price that we are only now really seeing for what it is. Greed.
I recently watched a news program that focused about a factory whose jobs were all take over to China, thus the american plant closed. The labor in China is very less expensive, but their quality of work is just as high if not higher, and they feel ther wage is fair for the life they want to live. This lady was then asked why she shopped at Wal-mart and she replied it was because she had to shop where the price was the cheapest for her family budget. What she did not realize is that the majority of those products were made in China, thus giving her the low price she looks for. If these companies were foreced to keep there manufacturing here in the US and pay US workers at the wage they want, then that CD Player which was 79$ made in China becomes a 119$ CD Player when made in the US. We can not have it both ways America. Someone has to get us back on the right track. We, as a country, need to stop being so greedy and materialistic. Our days of living beyond our means may have just came to a sreeching halt.

Natasha Bedingfield song "Soulmate" lyrics

Ok, you all know how a song comes along and I just love the lyrics because they either bring a strong memory back to me, or they really touch me in my soul someplace, as corny as that soungs.

Soulmate

Incompatible, it don't matter though
'cos someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
you're not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
is already in my life?
right in front of me
or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line


Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Been awhile..

Hello everyone!!!! It has been awhile since I have posted, but it has been busy winter. I officiate a volleyball league on Tuesday nights through fall, winter ans spring. My best friend and I co-direct and organize our indoor gay volleyball league, and it will be over in two weeks. I have been in the process of organizing our real first year of having a gay tennis league, named the Cincinnati Rainbow Pride Tennis, check out our website at http://sites.google.com/site/crpt2009/Home. It is going to be a long, hot, fun summer!!

I have just been keeping myself as busy as possible. I have gotten closer with my oldest sister, and go up to Dayton Ohio to spend time with them whenever I can. I love her very, very much. She is the best sister, and one of the kindest people I have the privledge of knowing, and having in my life.

Regret has been hounding me lately. I am regretful of how I have let myself go and gain all this weight back again. I am regretful of how I just can not seem to manage to get over the hump of beginning a good nutriton and exercise program and get myself on the road to getting healthy. I also regret how some really great people have helped me over the last few years when depression was at my worst and I just did not treat them with the respect they deserved. On a good note, I am depression free for over a year now. When things get hard, or go wrong, it is so liberating to know and understand that it is not the end of the world. Communicate with those who can help you and your situation, keep your head up and believe that it will work itself out in time. Live is precious and I am so glad to still be here.

WHY I STRONGLY DISLIKE ELISABETH HASSELBECK

First of all, as much I as I would love to use the word hate, I will instead state that I strongly dislike Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Latest news is that she is pregnant again with her third child, more hate to be taught to the young in our country. She and Ann Coulter could be twin sisters. The fact that she believes its ok for the Duggar family to continue to have child, after child just goes to show her selfish mentality. I mean these children are brought up with their parents religious beliefs all but shoved down their throats. Why can these children not have a choice? Their oldest son just got married and never kissed her until the wedding. I am sorry, but that is just odd and has nothing to do with religion or faith. Rosie O'donnel was all but lynched when she got into it with Hasselbeck on the view, but records show that Hasselbeck has gone on to have several confrontations with other hosts and guests.

From Wikipedia: [edit] Controversies on The View
Hasselbeck has been involved in a number of heated political debates on The View, including but not limited to:

On August 2, 2006, Hasselbeck got into a heated debate in which she strongly opposed the Food and Drug Administration's plan to sell the "morning after pill" as an over-the-counter drug. Hasselbeck stated, "I believe that life begins at the moment of conception." She said the over-the-counter distribution of the pill should be banned even in cases of rape and incest, because "life still has value." Hasselbeck argued that advocates of the drug use the "rape or incest" exception as a "bait-and-switch" distraction from the goal of making it universally accessible. She argued if the "rape or incest" exception was all advocates cared about, they would not support its over-the-counter status.[11]

On May 23, 2007, Hasselbeck was involved in a heated on-air argument with co-host Rosie O'Donnell concerning the war in Iraq, which she supports and O'Donnell opposes. When O'Donnell rhetorically asked, "655,000 Iraqi civilians dead. Who are the terrorists?"[12] O'Donnell was criticized by conservative commentators for her question and she (O'Donnell) complained about Hasselbeck's unwillingness to defend O'Donnell's statements in the controversy that followed. Hasselbeck responded, "Defend your own insinuations" and responded that she shouldn't have to defend anyone else's words for them, especially when that person has a forum with which to present a defense.[13]

On May 23, 2007, actress Alicia Silverstone was a guest on The View. Moments before Silverstone entered, hosts Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck had the aforementioned heated argument regarding the Iraq war. The video segment shows Silverstone entering and walking past Hasselbeck to greet the other hosts. Though the interview continued normally and featured easy conversation between Silverstone and Hasselbeck, Access Hollywood[14][dead link] deemed the act a deliberate snub. Hasselbeck later stated on the September 19 2007 episode of The View that Silverstone called and apologized for the incident[citation needed]. Hasselbeck said that Silverstone never meant to be rude, but was simply nervous when she walked on the stage and believed that incident was wrongly perceived by the media[citation needed].

On October 3, 2007, Hasselbeck and The View co-host Whoopi Goldberg got into a discussion about Senator Hillary Clinton's proposal that the US Government provide a $5,000 savings bond for each child at birth. The conversation became heated when Hasselbeck stated it would lead to fewer abortions due to women wanting to keep the money

I firmly believe that Hasselbeck is on the view simply to represent the voice of Bill Getty. You can tell that Barbara Walters is not the saint of the news and information world that she would want people to believe.

PLEASE ELISABETH HASSELBECK....leave the show and go home and be a mommy. Many of us are SO tired of you.

Prayers For Bobby.....

I watched the movie Prayers For Bobby, and I was totally blown away. Although we have all heard such stories this one for me really him close to home. My family was never religious in any way but when I was in Jr. High school I was exposed to a pentecostal church through some friends of mine. It was great to just be around kids my own age and to do things together via the youth group each and every week. I felt safe and accpeted there and I really enjoyed it for many years. During that time I was coming to grasp with the fact that I was gay. The conflicts that came within myself during those years was crippling. I knew deep, deep down in my heart and soul that I was not making these feeling ups or neither was I choosing to feel this way. One summer at church camp I even went as far as having the hugest crush on my groups male counselor. Then the conflicts came with the messeges that were being preached to us on a regular basis. Being and feeling as I was, was nothing more than a one way ticket to hell. I spent countless hours praying and crying for these gay feelings to be taken away from me so that I could be normal. You were always hearing in sermons that God answers prayer and if you have enough faith he would then answer prayer. I could not have been any more sincere in my efforts at that age. I remember constant times of thinking of killing myself because that inner battle that was going on in my mind was wearing me out physically and emotionally. Why would God not answer my prayers and heal me of these horrible thoughts of being with other men? It had to have been something that I was doing wrong, or I was not worthy of Gods love and mercy.
Finally, and I am not sure what happened to get me to that point, but I stopped beating myself up about it and just accepted it and gave up the church and my youth group that I loved so much. To this very day I have anger at God and I have a hard time with religion in any means. If there is a God, how could he let SO MANY misdirected youth and young adults wander adrift in doubt about who they are? In that question is where my problems with God lie. I just does not make any sense. The youth and young adults in the world need to be taught that they are special and nothing is wrong with them if they are realizing that they are homosexual. They are worthy of life and much love.

The new year 2009....things to come.

I hope everyone had a great new year!!!
I am going to attempt to work on the outside of me, since that all of last and a great deal of 2007 was spent working on the inside, the mental side of myself.

I have openly discussed my suicide attempt in May of 2007, and how I was hosptialized most of that year. 2008 was the first year in my life where I did not lose all my energy to the suction power of depression. I was actually happy, content, and confident all of last year. I managed to put on all the weight and more, that I lost while in the hosptial. Research I have done on the medicine I am on, Effexor and Seroquel, states that it can cause weight gain, as many anti-depressents do.

I am going to a meeting on Feb. 2 to see if I qualify for Gastric Bypass Surgery. Through the fight of my depresson over most of my life, I thought if I would lose weight the door to being loved by someone would open. I finally now know that is not the case. It has become such a clich'e over the past few years, but its true. If you can not love yourself, inside and out, nobody else will be able to love you. I have the hardest time losing weight due to the fact that I am a horrible eater. Dieting is such a task for me to stay on. I have a background with athletics and fitness but I still can not control my eating. I am no longer eating for comfort as I did over the years, but instead I am eating just horrible things for me. Years of athletics kept me at a stocky size and I continued to eat as much of anything I wanted. Now that competitive sports is slowing down for me, I no longer have that luxury of eating anything I wanted and whenever I wanted.

I know there is alot of pros and cons of this type of surgery, but it is something I have to do. I have to do what I feel is best for me, and my best chance to become healthy for the second part of my life. I will be 45 this July. WOW!!! 45!!! I can not believe that I am almost 50. I can remember so much of my early years, high school, college, and I just can not get over that I will be 45 this year. I do not feel 45 until I look in the mirror.

I will keep my progress posted on my blog during the approval stage of the surgery, and the happenings after if I am approved.

***** I AM SO HAPPY FOR EVERYONE WHO SURRIVED YESTERDAYS US AIRWAYS CRASH IN THE HUDSON RIVER IN NEW YORK CITY!!!1 THAT PILOT AND THE WHOLE CREW DESERVE THE LABEL OF HEROS IF THERE WAS EVER SUCH A THING!!!!!*********

Oprah Fat Again??? Is anyone surprised?????

Oprah 'embarrassed' about weight gain



Oprah Winfrey opens up about her recent weight gain in an eight-page package in the January issue of O. The coverline reads: “How Did I Let This Happen Again?”

Winfrey writes about how and why she has gained 40 pounds in four years, now reaching 200 pounds. That's right. 200.

“I’m mad at myself. I’m embarrassed.”

She goes on, “I didn’t just fall off the wagon. I let the wagon fall on me.”

According to WWD, Winfrey posed for O in January 2005 when she was at 160 pounds, in her workout wear and an evening gown. “I want to repeat the cover with who I am now and what my story is,” Winfrey says.

Of the challenges that led to the weight gain, “This past year, I took myself off of my own priority list. I wasn’t just low on the list, I wasn’t even on the list.”

The media mogul has thyroid conditions (oh, that old saw!) that also slowed her metabolism. After missing meditation, workouts and eating junk food, the weight piled on. Winfrey was reportedly so upset by her weight gain (but not enough to stop eating) that she didn’t allow any full-body covers of herself, only headshots or poses that hid her expanded body.

Remember those photos of Oprah eating her way through Italy? She really was! See the photographic proof here.

Coincidentally (we’re sure) Winfrey’s O story will launch a weeklong series on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” beginning Jan. 5, “Oprah’s Best Life Week,” which will give viewers thorough advice on health, spirit, money and relationships to guide them through the new year.

Is this a case of "Do as I say, not as I do?'

Hey, you don't think Oprah gained weight just so she could take it off again for ratings and magazine sales, do you?

Hmmm....

Photo: O magazine

OK, is anyone as upset about all this media attention to this topic once yet again. Here we have one of the most wealthy people in all the world. She has private chefs, Bob Green as her own, physical trainer, and yet she has gained weight to talk he up over 200 pounds yet again. I am furious that she is making this news. This is anything but news. What I smell is a future, huge weight loss, and then book deals and a ton on money coming her way about how she did it ( again ), blah blah blah. I use to be a total fan and had so much respect for Oprah, but that is long gone after 2008. Her shows lacked much to them at all. I do not think that Oprah needs to do more right here in her own back yard. While I respected the school for girls in Africa, I just feel that it was a bit much, when we have so many kids who have no food and do not get the chance to go to school year in the United States. I have been in the far south where my family grew up and I have seen how bad it is still today. Oprah, get over it, you are a big girl, love yourself for who you are. Try gastrip bypass, it works and could be just what you need. I think you are a greedy business woman and you do not really do much to help people in need. Good deeds start at home.

HIV Skeptic Christine Maggior Dead At 52

HIV Skeptic Christine Maggiore Dead at 52
The Los Angeles Times has confirmed with the Los Angeles County coroner’s office that 52-year-old HIV skeptic Christine Maggiore died Monday.

Maggiore, who was HIV-positive, self-published the book What if Everything You Thought You Knew About AIDS Was Wrong. She founded Alive & Well AIDS Alternatives, a support group that challenges “common assumptions” about AIDS.

In 2005 her 3-year-old daughter, Eliza Jane Scovill, died of what the coroner’s office ruled was AIDS-related pneumonia.

The Los Angeles Police Department and the Los Angeles Department of Child Protective Services briefly investigated Maggiore for child endangerment -- she had refused to take antiretroviral drugs while she was pregnant, and she breast-fed her daughter.

Ultimately, no charges were filed against Maggiore, as both agencies found she had taken her daughter to see physicians on several occasions.

Maggiore was an outspoken critic of the media coverage of her daughter’s death, even sending a letter to the Times in an attempt to get it to retract a story. The Times refused to publish the letter, saying, “If facts in an article are wrong, a correction would be published. However, no correction is warranted in this case.”

On several occasions Maggiore pointed to the health of her husband, filmmaker Robin Scovill, who she said repeatedly tested negative for the virus despite numerous years of unprotected sex. She said her son, born in 1997, also tested negative. (Advocate.com)


My Thoughts... How seriosly selfish this person was. She lost an infant child to aids related pnemonia as she did not take any HIV prentatal meds. Sorry, but in my opinion that is totally selfish and grounds for child abuse, and also, murder. A quote from the article reads, "she had refused to take antiretroviral drugs while she was pregnant, and she breast-fed her daughter." Its one thing to have your own views reagarding HIV treamtment, but when others are involeved you should do anything in your power to help that person become well and utilize any medical treatment or drugs available. The outcome of all this is simply very sad, sad and selfish.

Happy New Year....

I just wanted to take a moment and wish everyone a very Happy New Year. I can only hope that 2009 brings everyone so much more than they were able to get in 2008. I wish for you that you all reach your goals, have many successes and much happiness in the new year.
Maybe one day soon gays and lesbians will no longer have to struggle to just be themselves and live everyday, normal lives just as any other US citizen strives to do. Gay, straight, bi, transgendered, straight, whomever, we all deserve the right to happiness in our lives.
I had a great year in 2008 as far as my depression goes. I actually went a full year without suffering from life altering depression. I learned alot about myself and realized who my real friends are, and how much my family means to me. I love them all very much. As a family we are not perfect and we all have our flaws, but we are family and that means everything to me. I miss my mom and dad but I have to believe that they are together and they are happy, at peace, and enjoying each other without illness, pain and suffering of any kind. They are watching down on us hoping good things for all of us.
So, with all that said, Happy New Year to all of you and the best that 2009 can bring you.